When I first heard this news story via this week's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, I thought it was certainly from The Onion and that someone had misunderstood the satire. But, no--it's apparently true. The owner of the Kingsville, Texas, flea market convinced his county's officials that "Hello" is an improper way to address the public, since after all, the word "Hello" contains the word "hell." He suggested an appropriate alternative is "HeavenO". That's not a Real Word. But the county government agreed. Employees must now use that made-up word. In addition, it's not clear who actually made up that word. It might have been Mr. Leonso Canales, the flea market owner, but there are others in contention, including the Kids in the Hall. If the latter, then somebody really didn't get the joke.
Now, seriously. Hello doesn't derive from any association with a place called "hell." In English, as opposed to American usage, it's sometimes spelled "Hallo" or "Hullo." What's the derivation? Obscure, but perhaps Old French, from Latin, o (hey) and la (there)--thus, hey, there. Not every word with the letters h-e-l-l in it has an association with the place people would rather not end up after death.
I keep hoping I'll come across evidence that this entire story is a hoax, or satire, but look at this: emails from Mr. Canales to people asking about the HeavenO greeting.
So, assuming that if a greeting has some kind of magic power, and if the government has some sort of responsibility not to endorse the use of that greeting, how does the use of the word "hello" enter into any of this? HeavenO--now, there's a lawsuit waiting to be filed.
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